We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.