The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now