he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.