Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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  (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. http://tfl.nu/rnks
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  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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  (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. http://tfl.nu/ocps
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  Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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  (908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings" http://tfl.nu/7jzd
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  ): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

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  (908)): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing. http://tfl.nu/g33r
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  They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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  (908): They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina http://tfl.nu/9jci
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  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

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  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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  (973): RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO (908) dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me http://tfl.nu/s889
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  everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries

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  (908): everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries http://tfl.nu/l93m
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  we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.

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  you should have been aborted.

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  (908): we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now. (1-908): you should have been aborted. http://tfl.nu/el6q
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  I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun

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  (908): I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun http://tfl.nu/9z1c
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  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

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  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
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  You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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  (908): You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid. http://tfl.nu/9kqb
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  Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

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  Fuck I'm high.

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  (908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc
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  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
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  google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again

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  (908): google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again http://tfl.nu/nfnp
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  My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.

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  (908): My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size. http://tfl.nu/6vyk
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