it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.