don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won