You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
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Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed