Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.