He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think