The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?