If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?