I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.