i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.