I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...