gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.