mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...