Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench