i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle