we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me