If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dating After Heartbreak
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer