Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan