Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.