shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
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I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.