these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
