So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.