Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.