They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.