We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in