i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success