the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.