so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
I stole a fireplace last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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