Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one