Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste