bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?