We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
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On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing