How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.