Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock