That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors