Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun