My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....