After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.