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He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
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