Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.