Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
