Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this just has baby written all over it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?