She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero