Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
