It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.