If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove