Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (719)

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on

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  (719): I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on http://tfl.nu/1fwc
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  I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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  (719): I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear http://tfl.nu/cplq
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  I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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  (719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1
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  No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories

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  (719): No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories http://tfl.nu/o049
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  What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?

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  (719): What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running? http://tfl.nu/08bt
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  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

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  (719): I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/zd6h
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  Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show

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  (719): Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show http://tfl.nu/2ff1
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  Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?

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  (719): Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/wrx6
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  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

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  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
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  I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

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  (719): I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life http://tfl.nu/rr8c
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  I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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  (719): I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer. http://tfl.nu/9z00
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  there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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  (719): there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants http://tfl.nu/vcqy
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  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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  (719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5
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  Apparently love is stronger than SoCo

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  (719): Apparently love is stronger than SoCo http://tfl.nu/rcou
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  He's a Shit stain on my heart

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  (719): He's a Shit stain on my heart http://tfl.nu/9sgb
  Replies (11) Good night (519) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt