I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.