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Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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