WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.