Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise