The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe