You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.