Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral