We are all done wearing pants today
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy