Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (702)

Last Night in Nevada (702)

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(702): View more from Nevada

She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us

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(702): She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us http://tfl.nu/hsu0

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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.

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(702): The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever. http://tfl.nu/lrkg

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I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

(712): View more from Iowa

What's an angry pirate?

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You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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(702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl

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One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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(702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd

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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!

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(702): i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield! http://tfl.nu/o1fu

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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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(702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k

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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

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(702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo

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Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

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(702): Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right? http://tfl.nu/4gj4

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There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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(702): There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that. http://tfl.nu/7qcf

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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

(503): View more from Oregon

You made out with EVERYBODY.

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Can I just bleach my life?

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(702): Last night was just one giant freudian slip. (503): You made out with EVERYBODY. (702): Can I just bleach my life? http://tfl.nu/dy05

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Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.

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I regret nothing

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(702): Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal. (1-702): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/jdko

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Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(702): Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/ihoh

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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.

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(702): Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad. http://tfl.nu/3xek

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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.

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(702): I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century. http://tfl.nu/3h7h

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I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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(702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk

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Last Night in Nevada (702)

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