This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.