After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!