So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover