The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now