Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (702)

Last Night in Nevada (702)

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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.

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(702): Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/accn

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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night

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(702): we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night http://tfl.nu/elak

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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much

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you puked ON HER

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(775): she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much (702): you puked ON HER http://tfl.nu/qqj0

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Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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(702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1

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Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.

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(702): Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents. http://tfl.nu/6lkq

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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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(702): I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up. http://tfl.nu/wodb

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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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(702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw

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Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

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(702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu

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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

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If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

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(702): At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out. (1-702): If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week. http://tfl.nu/ued1

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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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(702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1

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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.

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(702): I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups. http://tfl.nu/t5hn

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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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(702): Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/5vt4

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Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.

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(702): Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state. http://tfl.nu/qc3a

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It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

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Real life dumb and dumber

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(775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9

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there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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(702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke

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Last Night in Nevada (702)

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