You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.