Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!