There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement