Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.