I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now