Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.