Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...