Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome