Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (613)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/4yrh
  Replies (2) Good night (1119) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus? http://tfl.nu/amrt
  Replies (3) Good night (181) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud
  Replies (9) Good night (799) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me. http://tfl.nu/dgyw
  Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/ozdm
  Replies (6) Good night (280) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going. http://tfl.nu/0q0d
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit http://tfl.nu/8e9o
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control. http://tfl.nu/w1lp
  Replies (4) Good night (1690) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers. http://tfl.nu/797e
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2225) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1342) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee. http://tfl.nu/d96h
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head http://tfl.nu/1jjy
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday. http://tfl.nu/nmap
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday http://tfl.nu/1nci
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt