I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy