We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.