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I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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