She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.