I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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